"I try to get to the train ten minutes or so before the morning rush hits. That way, I can usually get a seat and have some space to myself to scream about God and what not."

"I try to get to the train ten minutes or so before the morning rush hits. That way, I can usually get a seat and have some space to myself to scream about God and what not."

"I never pack a lunch for work just in case my street gets a visit from the fake weed lollipop truck."

"I never pack a lunch for work just in case my street gets a visit from the fake weed lollipop truck."

"I moved to New York about three weeks ago and so far it's been nothing like Maid in Manhattan. Or Jungle 2 Jungle."

"I moved to New York about three weeks ago and so far it's been nothing like Maid in Manhattan. Or Jungle 2 Jungle."

"Bueller?...Bueller?...Bueller?...Pretty close, right?"

"Bueller?...Bueller?...Bueller?...Pretty close, right?"

"He's an indoor person, I prefer being outside. I smoke, he's clean. We couldn't be more opposite but here we are, a month shy from our fifteenth wedding anniversary. I guess this is that 'love' thing everyone keeps talking about."

"He's an indoor person, I prefer being outside. I smoke, he's clean. We couldn't be more opposite but here we are, a month shy from our fifteenth wedding anniversary. I guess this is that 'love' thing everyone keeps talking about."

"Showing up to work completely soaked in sweat is kind of a badge of honor and my clients respect that and if they don't, they should. I'm their pediatrician for god's sake!"

"Showing up to work completely soaked in sweat is kind of a badge of honor and my clients respect that and if they don't, they should. I'm their pediatrician for god's sake!"

"I pretty much only buy things in person, always have. Doing all the online stuff makes it feel so sterile and disconnected. It's much better to actually go into the store, especially with buying clothes. How often do you buy something from online that you know for sure will fit? I'd rather not risk it and go somewhere where I can actually try on the Heelys."

"I pretty much only buy things in person, always have. Doing all the online stuff makes it feel so sterile and disconnected. It's much better to actually go into the store, especially with buying clothes. How often do you buy something from online that you know for sure will fit? I'd rather not risk it and go somewhere where I can actually try on the Heelys."

"I was a producer on the documentary series, 'Planet Earth.' Most of the time filming for the show was incredible. I got to see amazing landscapes and a vast diversity in wildlife beyond what I ever thought existed. I really got a sense for how much humans are just a part of the whole ecosystem that is Earth. It was a tremendous experience. Except for the five days where I had to watch elephant seals mate. It made me want to burn this whole place down."

"I was a producer on the documentary series, 'Planet Earth.' Most of the time filming for the show was incredible. I got to see amazing landscapes and a vast diversity in wildlife beyond what I ever thought existed. I really got a sense for how much humans are just a part of the whole ecosystem that is Earth. It was a tremendous experience. Except for the five days where I had to watch elephant seals mate. It made me want to burn this whole place down."

"Now this is living!"

"Now this is living!"

"As an ambulance driver, I've seen just about everything. You name it, I've seen it. Every kind of traffic you can imagine."

"As an ambulance driver, I've seen just about everything. You name it, I've seen it. Every kind of traffic you can imagine."

"My family's Easter egg hunts are getting too intense."

"My family's Easter egg hunts are getting too intense."

"Taking a quick pump break before taking the little ones to Barclays. They're the only baby triplets I know that can't get enough of the Nets."

"Taking a quick pump break before taking the little ones to Barclays. They're the only baby triplets I know that can't get enough of the Nets."

"I'm not usually one to complain, which sucks."

"I'm not usually one to complain, which sucks."

"My husband and I were interested in traveling somewhere but we weren't sure where. We were feeling adventurous so we decided to throw a dart at a big map of the world and wherever it landed, we promised each other we'd go there. So, in a couple of months, we're headed up to Westchester, New York, and I truly can't believe that that's where the dart landed."

"My husband and I were interested in traveling somewhere but we weren't sure where. We were feeling adventurous so we decided to throw a dart at a big map of the world and wherever it landed, we promised each other we'd go there. So, in a couple of months, we're headed up to Westchester, New York, and I truly can't believe that that's where the dart landed."

"Am I a Yankees fan? No. Do I like baseball? No. Could I even be considered a child? No, I'm thirty-eight. But here I am, in Yankees stadium, serving as the dugout's batboy for nine innings."

"Am I a Yankees fan? No. Do I like baseball? No. Could I even be considered a child? No, I'm thirty-eight. But here I am, in Yankees stadium, serving as the dugout's batboy for nine innings."

"Surprise! Happy...Oh, sorry. I thought you were my friend, Kevin. Can you push me back in?"

"Surprise! Happy...Oh, sorry. I thought you were my friend, Kevin. Can you push me back in?"

"Damn right I'm a Haagen-doggy. Bow wow! Puppy wants his chow!"

"Damn right I'm a Haagen-doggy. Bow wow! Puppy wants his chow!"

"I hate that my dad has thicker bangs than I do."

"I hate that my dad has thicker bangs than I do."

"You spend three hours with a guy at a Phish concert, share a vape with him on the bus back, and then, as soon as you get off, he walks away like you're total strangers. Unbelievable. Nathan! Wait up, bud!"

"You spend three hours with a guy at a Phish concert, share a vape with him on the bus back, and then, as soon as you get off, he walks away like you're total strangers. Unbelievable. Nathan! Wait up, bud!"

"You caught me having one hell of a day, my friend. I just got kicked out of a court of law for wearing a GoPro on my head. I didn't even have a chance to call up a witness."

"You caught me having one hell of a day, my friend. I just got kicked out of a court of law for wearing a GoPro on my head. I didn't even have a chance to call up a witness."

"I'm not a banana, baby."

"I'm not a banana, baby."

"It's a double cup kind of day. Subway keeps their Coke pretty piping hot, man."

"It's a double cup kind of day. Subway keeps their Coke pretty piping hot, man."

"I don't get it. I just had my bar mitzvah and I still can't palm a basketball? I thought I was supposed to be a man now."

"I don't get it. I just had my bar mitzvah and I still can't palm a basketball? I thought I was supposed to be a man now."

"I've started making my own rose water at home. Its very simple to make and tastes so refreshing. However, I think I must be messing up somewhere as I keep getting violent diarrhea."

"I've started making my own rose water at home. Its very simple to make and tastes so refreshing. However, I think I must be messing up somewhere as I keep getting violent diarrhea."

"Fall is the most beautiful time of year in New York. All eight minutes of it."

"Fall is the most beautiful time of year in New York. All eight minutes of it."

"Soon after my husband and I got married, we walked across the Brooklyn Bridge. When we got to the middle, we attached a lock to the fence with our initials carved into it. Afterwards, we kissed and I put my head on his chest and we watched the sunset together. It was truly magical. Overall, I'd give that day four out of five stars."

"Soon after my husband and I got married, we walked across the Brooklyn Bridge. When we got to the middle, we attached a lock to the fence with our initials carved into it. Afterwards, we kissed and I put my head on his chest and we watched the sunset together. It was truly magical. Overall, I'd give that day four out of five stars."

"Fashion has always been a big part of my life. In high school, I went to prom wearing one of the Dumb and Dumber tuxes. My friend bailed though, so it was just me in the blue tux. It didn't have the effect I was going for but I still had fun."

"Fashion has always been a big part of my life. In high school, I went to prom wearing one of the Dumb and Dumber tuxes. My friend bailed though, so it was just me in the blue tux. It didn't have the effect I was going for but I still had fun."

"I'm not a banana. Close though."

"I'm not a banana. Close though."